Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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