I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
