Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
