I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
that may or may not have been my penis.
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