That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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