My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
