I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
