What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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