thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
