I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
