I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
