Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
