Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
