Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
