Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
