I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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