I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
