Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
