M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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