I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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