i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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