I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
jump out the window naked night went bad
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