hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
