found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
