I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
