Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
