it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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