they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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