Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
