Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
