There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
