like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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