the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
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