My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Plan B is the new Plan A
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
