well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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