You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
