Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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