I just pynch a tree in the face
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
