How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
