Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
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