oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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