i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
