just come out here and I will go home with you...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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