It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
