apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
