is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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