I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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