getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Two words: nipple clamps
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