Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
