Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
